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| Please don't hit me, Jack. |
| 03.09.04 (9:49 pm) [edit] |
I'm excited today. Why am I excited, you ask? Because Jack White's court proceedings were today, he pled guilty, and while my dream of hearing the fifth White Stripes record as recorded in Wayne County Penitentiary doesn't look like it'll be coming true (unless, of course, Jack decides to use one of the other Von Bondies as a punching bag between now and this summer), he's been required by the judge to attend [u]ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES[/u].
People, I know Jack White would never actually agree to this, but just think: is this situation not SCREAMING to be a reality series? I want to see Jack shuffling into anger management class with a bunch of toughs, a sullen expression on his pasty face. I want to see desensitization treatments, with him subjected a la [i]Clockwork Orange[/i] to rap videos and images of a sneering Jason Stollsteimer. I want to see him almost lose it on one of his classmates, then remember what the instructor told him and end up kissing and making up in a real live Hallmark-card ending. I want the next White Stripes record to be a concept album about his ordeals. And most of all, I want Jack to continue his blossoming film career by making a movie opposite Adam Sandler...then kick his weaselly little Chanukah Song ass on-set. I know, I know, assault and battery isn't funny, especially not when the assaulter is someone you think pretty highly of...but I haven't been able to stop giggling about Jack and Jason's hip hop war since I first heard the news way back in December. Now that I know our boy Jackie will be sitting in a classroom sourly taking notes about how to take a deep breath and count to ten, it's all just too good to be true. Maybe it's that godawful new auburn (!) dye job.
Jack, you're killing me...first that mustache, and now this?
Anyway, reasons not to be excited today: I slept through my Japanese class...again. This time missing a kanji quiz. I still have a paper to write and about 70 pages of [i]Man with the Golden Arm[/i] to skim before Thursday. Which is nothing compared to the 11 chapters of [i]Return to Laughter[/i] I have to catch up on before 3:00 tomorrow afternoon...shit. Combine that with my trying to do a web project for Chicago Lit. when my computer literacy is tenuous at best, and I've been pretty stressed out about schoolwork lately. I don't know. I wish I could skim readings and BS discussions and skip classes (or sleep through them) guilt-free like some people can. I just keep thinking of how much my parents are helping me pay my way from school, how much this particular school is technically out of my financial bounds, and how I've been told my whole life to make school my top priority until I get out...it's just been weighing kind of heavily on me lately. I always hate it in other people when they get all stressed out about something as stupid as school. Guess I'm becoming that which I hate...I'm trying to lighten up, though.
Which brings me to my next point, more reasons [i]to[/i] be excited today: I got to cuddle with Megan an ungodly amount. I'm still feeling clean from yesterday's late-night shower. My paycheck and my anniversary are growing closer and closer and I still have $90 in the bank. I'm seeing Electric Six, Ben Folds, and potentially the Dirtbombs, the Detroit Cobras and Saturday Looks Good To Me in the coming months. And yes, that new White Stripes album is looking to be on track (and probably brimming with hit new songs about just learning how to compromise and talk things over). Who wouldn't be excited about that?
Listening to: I Want to Be the Boy to Punch Your Singer's Face In by Jack "The Slugger" White and the Black Eyes
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posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:37 pm)
You need a vacation to somewhere nice: my bed for two and a half hours of good wholesome cuddling.
Your arms wrapped around my waist and my feet rubbing your legs.
And complete silence with no stomping, slamming, pounding interuptions.
But, you could bring Return to Laughter if you must.
posted by: churchofmadlove (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:44 pm)
That sounds really nice. But I hope you don't mean now, because I don't even think your crazy ass roommate is planning on staying out until 5:30 on a Tuesday night. I'll take a rain check though...I do need a good cuddle.
I say this as if I haven't been getting good cuddles at about the frequency most people blink the last couple of days.
posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:47 pm)
Reply to: churchofmadlove
Maybe she'll run away from "home"
posted by: churchofmadlove (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:47 pm)
Hahaha. As if we'll ever be that lucky.
posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:48 pm)
I think next year is enough to wait for. I don't care what she does the rest of this summer as long as a) she doesn't have sex with her boyfriend while I'm in the room, assuming that she is no longer so scared of penises that she is frightened even by a drawn one or b) that she doesn't murder me in my sleep
posted by: churchofmadlove (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:51 pm)
That's true. I'm really excited about next year. Especially if it gets to that chilling point where my penis is not the only one in your room, and the other penis belongs to...him.
posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:53 pm)
Gross. I want to think of my roommate's boyfriend in ken-doll terms only i.e. he has no penis just a mere plastic centerpiece in his pants.
Next Year sounds absolutely wonderful now.
posted by: churchofmadlove (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:54 pm)
It's my way with words, you see. I've painted such a beautiful picture of next year, merely by suggesting that there will be a complete and total absence of your roommate's boyfriend's penis.
...Well, THIS roommate's, anyway.
posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:56 pm)
I sense there's a joke in there, but I'm not getting it. My head hurts a lot again. Fuck the lamp industry. Fuck Target.
Zaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaach, take care of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Please? Please?
Yeah, I just fucked up your margins. What are you going to do about it?
posted by: churchofmadlove (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:58 pm)
You didn't fuck up my margins. And the joke was that we've both forgotten that if Roz sees anyone next year, there's a definite possibility that the persons in question will have sex organs and most likely penises. So if you want to avoid the penises of roommates' boyfriends altogether, you might be out of luck.
posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (11:59 pm)
Not really. I could just live in your room. Would you let me sleep in your bowl chair?
posted by: churchofmadlove (reply)
post date: 03.10.04 (12:00 am)
No. You sleep in the pit of sin that is my bed or it's no dice.
posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.10.04 (12:01 am)
I was afraid that you'd never ask.
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