Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2004 March
2004 February
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| Razor burn for the soul. |
| 03.08.04 (10:22 pm) [edit] |
About an hour ago I took a shower for the first time in two days, shaved for the first time in god knows how long, brushed my teeth and put on pajamas (of sorts). The fact that I'm ready to crawl into bed at a moment's notice, not to mention the fact that I finally don't feel dirty anymore, puts me in a much better mood than I was before I jumped in the shower. In fact, if it weren't for the razor burn currently setting my face alight, I might even have trouble writing the mopy post that is to follow. Fortunately for you, the reader, who loves nothing more than to hear me whine (Right? RIGHT??), the razor burn persists. Yes, folks, dull razors are more than just laziness for me; they're muses.
But let's start over.
At the end of my senior year in high school, I organized a Battle of the Bands. It was the most stressful experience of my life to that point; not only was I doing the advertising, recruiting the talent and bearing the brunt of the ticket sales, I was in the flagship band from my high school, a shitty band called Grant Gilmore & the Gilmore Girls (my choice of name) that played mostly Journey covers (NOT my choice of music!). To say the least, the whole preparation phase was a shambles. The Gilmore Girls were constantly on the verge of breakup, due to collective lack of work ethic and a singer who couldn't bring himself to sing unless the stage lights were down for the beginning of the first song. The Battle of the Bands itself was marred by technical problems, bureaucratic issues (sports schedules forced it into the one weekend in May when Williamston's star singer/songwriter was out of town), and what appeared to be a general lack of interest by performers and audience alike. By the day of the show, I had made myself psychosomatically ill; I went home from school early, my spirits so low that not even a phone call from one of my fellow coordinators, telling me that the school P.A. was not working, could make me feel much worse.
As things turned out, the Battle of the Bands was a success given the circumstances (I'd expected to lose money; instead I made some), but in the grand scheme of things, and compared to the success of previous years and other schools, it was a failure. Only about 200 people showed up to the 500-capacity auditorium. Our roster of bands included four real ones and my friend Ben doing stand-up comedy to piano accompaniment...keep in mind, too, that one of the "real" acts was the aforementioned Journey cover band. And speaking of the Gilmore Girls' set, it was terrible. The auditorium's tiny P.A. was buried under the weight of my drums and the Marshall half-stack of Mr. Gilmore himself, the singer could not bring himself to sing in tune due to a combination of stage fright and simply not being able to match Steve Perry's range, and the only thing approaching a "highlight" for the whole show was a sloppy (and ironic) Hendrix-pastiche rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. And even that was pretty lame. The point is, I made it through the night (we even got first place, basically because we were the only band from Williamston and the audience was biased), but I was through with trying to play in bands. The end of the Williamston Battle of the Bands marked my official retirement from the music industry.
...Well, until two months later, when I met Dan, he found out I played drums, and an embryonic form of the mess we now know as Run Little Bunny was born. And now, almost a year exactly from the Battle of the Bands fiasco, I remember why it is I quit music.
Run Little Bunny has a show coming up in a little more than a month. We are disastrously unprepared. Tonight was our first practice in a month, and we could barely get through All Day and All of the Night by the Kinks. Roz wasn't there because she's sick, but even if she weren't, she's lost interest in the band even more than I have. Myself, I keep trying to get fired up, but every time I sit in front of the drums I just end up with blistered fingers, broken sticks and a bad mood. What's worst of all is that, as the East Quad Music Fest grows closer and closer, I'm beginning to realize that everybody and his mother around here has a band, and every last one of those bands is better than mine. Most of them play original material...we've been trying to write songs for months, but nobody has any idea how to go about it. Hell, two thirds of us don't even ever want to practice. This Music Fest just feels like a Sword of Damocles hanging over my head; I know I'm doomed to public humiliation, but there's nothing much I can do about it without breaking up the band. And I don't want to do that. It's bad enough that my rock'n'roll dreams have been shattered. Do I really have to destroy Dan's, too?
I love music. That much is obvious. And I've always thought that I've wanted to play it in front of people. But it seems like I'm doomed to a lifetime of musical failure, and it's gotten to the point where I just have to throw in the towel and stop embarrassing myself. I mean, really, people...my last band was a JOURNEY COVER BAND. That's pretty fucking low. And as for Run Little Bunny, for a while I was optimistic. Now, though, I feel like we're sinking and it's time to abandon ship. I don't want to be in the worst band on campus. I don't want people to recognize me as "the guy who plays drums for that crappy rabbit band." But I feel guilty giving up now. I don't know what to do.
I'm going to sleep on this, maybe for more than one night. Maybe I'll feel better about the whole thing when I'm not in the aftermath of a disheartening and generally depressing rehearsal. I hope so. Even if the EQ Music Fest ends up being the second end to my career in music (yeah, I know, I'm turning into a human KISS farewell tour), I feel like I should really try and just make it through this year. This is one thing I shouldn't be giving up on.
OK, web project now.
Listening to: All of [i]If We Can't Trust the Doctors[/i] by Blanche
|
|
|
| |
posted by: rocketboots522 (reply)
post date: 03.08.04 (10:58 pm)
Honey, your shave was worth the effort. You look so cute, clean-cut, and perfectly edible, it's well worth your razor burn.
trust me. Megans know best.
posted by: churchofmadlove (reply)
post date: 03.08.04 (11:21 pm)
I just need to learn what I should have already known by the time I was about 16 and CHANGE MY FUCKING RAZORS, that's all...
posted by: Megan (reply)
post date: 03.09.04 (2:59 pm)
You mean eleven.
I bet you had to shave when you were eleven.
|
|
